I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
Sorry, I don't speak sober.
god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
What shirt can I wear out that says 'I may have a broken arm, but it's not the one I give handjobs with'?
You owe me new eyes. The ones I have are burned with your balls into the back of my eyes. And every time I close them, your balls are right there...
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
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