One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
every Thursday i draw one of my friends names out of a hat to choose who i will drunkenly text all weekend
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
I woke up with an empty beer bottle in my slipper and a note that said "it just wants to be warm"
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