Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
I party with great urgency now.
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
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