Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
She's like the Michael Jordan of alcoholism
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
Ten minute nap on a staircase honey badger don't care
I love you. Mom got to wasted at the wedding that she threw up on my shirt.
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
Randomize
