Sponge bath it is.
NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
I should never bitch about not getting laid. He's begging me to come over and I'm saying no because I'm watching a Golden Girls marathon.
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
If throwing a bottle across the bar, hitting a skank in the head and not getting caught was an Olympic event, you'd bring merica the gold every time
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
Randomize
