People with herpes should wear stickers.
honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
I took out the emergency phone in the elevator and replaced it with a bottle of vodka. The game is simple, do a shot for the number of the floor you're going to. Best suggestion box tip ever.
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
i believe in u and ur pee
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