My unemployment check should really just be direct-deposited into the checking account of my drug dealer
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
So now I can cross "have my ass be someone's phone background" off the bucket list. You know, if it was something I actually had wanted to happen.
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
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