My boss' voice literally gives me gas
just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
you know you've been playing too much mario kart when you see a curve in the road ahead and see yourself drifting around it
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
He got me an interview at his law firm and his boss asked him what he had to say about me. His response "He dates CRAZY bitches."
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
Randomize
