I'm sad I can't be there is wknd, I'm laying on the beach and daydreaming of you / crying a bit
I'm watching a porn and daydreaming of you. Sounds like we both need Kleenex
Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
i was out of cigarettes so i took the butts out of the ashtray, emptied them out, and proceeded to roll one big Frankenstein cigarette.
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
Just stole a pregnancy test from Wegmans because I didn't want to pay 13 dollars to find out my life is over.
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
Hi I am too sober and out of rum. Translation: I owe you some beer. Also, get better taste in beer.
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
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