I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
I can't help but feel like we would be friends still if my phone didn't always capitalize BUTTLOAD...
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
Randomize
