Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
Became friends with a girl at work today until I realized we have the same taste in men. And I thought only I liked red-bearded fat men
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