That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
I am a mess. Weirdest thing: I woke up with a hammer under my pillow. No idea why.
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
Randomize
