she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
Woke up in 100% not my clothes this morning. Third time this month. Fuck. Tequila.
In a tragic sexting typo, I typed the word "blobjob". Now she's coming over and I have no idea what I'm in for...
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
I swear a good massage is the easiest way in my pants.
Not that there's a hard way... but you know what I mean.
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
I found a loose wire in my thermostat. Couldn't find the pliers, so I used a nipple clamp to fix it.
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