I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
??? When I first met her at the bar, she told me she was 23. After I bought her 3 shots of tequila, she told me she was really only 21. When we went back to my house, she said she was really only 19. She's still sleeping next to me butt naked. I'm afraid if she opens her mouth again I could be looking at 10 years.
I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
I think I found my soulmate. This guy in front of me is yelling about getting laid while holding two beers and texting. I think this is love.
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
That works. I won't care. I'll be a mermaid. Mermaids don't give a fuck.
Especially drunk mermaids.
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
Walked off the dance floor to find Gabe hitting on a dad bod at the bar. It was my Dad. Awkward is an understatement.
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