I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
Why is my head in the toilet this morning but there is vomit behind the toilet
my boobs are a 3G dead zone. as soon as i take my phone out of my bra, it has a signal again.
There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
Randomize
