i'm in hospital, i have an exam in 3 hours and the man in the cubicle next to me is doing a noisy poo. this has to get better.
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
when they cut me off i played the entire Justin Bieber playlist and left for another bar that didn't think i'd had enough to drink
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