Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
Hey remember that night when you sang Fergie to me? I think that's the exact moment in time when the thought "I could be faithful to this man" came into serious consideration.
Just saw a dude dressed as captain america driving down the highway. He saluted me.
She dumped me and then asked if I wanted to come to her improv show. Fuck theatre majors, man.
the bright side of moving is at least my Tinder options will refresh
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
Randomize
