remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
I proposed and she said yes man.
You realize the irony of surrendering on independence day, right?
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
Tried to dry my shoes in the oven last night.
Maybe I'm a robot.
You can't be that drunk already
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
You tried to prove you weren't drunk by loudly singing the romanian national anthem. Why the fuck do you even KNOW the romanian national anthem?
i black out too much to be "responsible"
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
Decided to stay sober a couple days, learned how exceptionally stupid my coworkers are. Might have to quit now. Moral of the story:be careful where you go sober.
Randomize
