Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
Hold on...did you Instagram a picture of you and your boyfriend while you were sending me dirty snapchats?
You poured 151 in your eye, ran face first into a tree, fell down, then threw a lawn chair at the dog...all before passing out in the hallway and pissing yourself. There is no way to redeem yourself.
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
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