Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
Every time she shows up on my newsfeed, I get the taste of tequila in my mouth.
Just read my long term horoscope. I'm not gonna get laid for another 2 years.
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
Dude, I just hit your nipple with a bottle of lube while you were wearing a shirt, 10 feet away without my glasses and I only have "not bad" aim?
I just woke up to a ten minute voicemail of you sobbing about the X-Men. Stop getting drunk and watching Marvel movies.
BUT WOLVERINE IS SO TORMENTED AND JUST WANTS TO BE LOVED
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
If you need me I'll be in the hospital involving super glue and fake eyelashes.
Randomize