I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
non applicator tampons are so hard to put in when your drunk. i fingered myself for 10 minutes and forgot what i was trying to do.
I knew something was wrong when santa got arrested
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
Def ran into my elementary school babysitter at the grocery store. Still hot. And she complimented my beer choice. It feels good to still have her approval
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
Woman at starbucks on her computer with a garbage bag of popcorn and a bottle of lotion. Where are you coming from?!
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
Randomize
