How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
Pretty sure the guy I hooked up with Saturday gave me a buy one get one free coupon for chipotle. Who said nice guys don't exist?
When i was tripping hard i was banging Jeff's roommate and her room turned into Hogwarts
Also when we were banging i thought my high school librarian was perched up on top of the stereo like a gargoyle but it ended up just being her cat
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
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