I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
Yeah, you gave me a condom that I 100% coulda used, then an hour later you basically beat the shit out of me and physically took it from my pocket.
Happy Birhtday!
Dad, it's 3am and it's not my birthday... wherever you are, go home
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
If one more person says Merry Christmas to me I’m going to take a pen out of my pocketbook and stab them in the eye
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
Randomize
