you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
Too many sundays start with me waking up still drunk in my car.
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
I'm drinking coffee out of a pasta sauce jar and eating fruit soaked in Smirnoff. I think I've hit rock bottom.
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
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