And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
I'm taking the day off so I can get drunk at Whole Foods before noon
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
I just sharted for the first time in my life. Age 33. Lying in bed. Sober. 2021 is off to a great start!
Randomize
