Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
Send me another check for the tickets. I scratched out "anal wax" and now the bank won't take it.
You think you're smart. You're pretending to be asleep to save yourself from my hormonal pms mood swings. Unfortunately that only works against bears.
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
You were having sex very loudly, so I felt it necessary to blast the Thong Song, bust out the trusty old airhorn and walk in on you. MY BAD.
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
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