I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
nothing says 4th of july like teaching grandma how to work a keg
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
Just found my socks folded and in the back pocket of my jeans. Apparently drunk me refuses to lose shit after the panties incident over New Years.
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
Randomize