jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
I barely trust you with my tinder, why would I let you take the staples out of my head?!
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
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