I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
Hey, remember that girl at rocklobster you thought was hot but were to pussy to talk to? You were right, her boobs are fake and she gives the best head on the planet. Can you come pick me up?
You're dead to me.
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
Just got a lapdance on the metro. She said she was on maternity leave and needed the practice.
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
Randomize
