oh fat girl friday strikes again...
he said he wanted to butter my pancake. i thought it was sexual, but he went downstairs and made pancakes. i need to stop dating fat guys.
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
Don't you hate falling asleep on the couch with a glass of wine in your hand? It's like dreaming about peeing and then realizing you've peed the bed only stickier.
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
Randomize
