I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
You know you're a heffer when you discover chocolate frosting on your smoking apparatus
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
Terrible idea I love it
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize