I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
Speeding home on my break at work because I forgot to grab my Percocets that I have because getting through work sober's too hard
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
Randomize
