i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
The fact that you're allowing Santa to dry hump your ass is sort of a dealbreaker
My roommate is downstairs drunk, smoking, and listening to a self help DVD. Please dear God don't let this be the Ghost of Christmas Future.
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
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