i had a dream last night that you and i organized a foursome. swear to god
ps i'll be in miami in early july. this text has no relation to the last one
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
I can't feel my tongue. And that means go. Green means go. And you know what Barney says. Green means go and woah means no. DRIIIIINKK
Alive.
So much puke
Turns out the owner of the bar that I fucked used to be on Boy Meets World, but now he's old and bald. So there's that..
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
I’ll call you later. There’s a jilted trophy wife looking for a revenge fuck at my door
Randomize
