i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
I like that most of our conversations somehow end in us having sex for the good of our country
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
Do you know how difficult it is to give head to someone who's imitating Forrest Gump?
He wouldn't let me leave his house until he made me orgasm once for every year I've been alive. The birthday sex song did not prepare me for this.
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
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