he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
I made out with a deaf person. Also I've been drunk 11 days in a row now.
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
Randomize
