so i woke up this morning covered in mail. none of it is mine.
The stoners next door have their couch on the sidewalk again, shirtless, soaking their feet in a baby pool and listening to loud ukulele music. I want their life.
Drinking at work by myself... My boss just walked into me copying my face on the copy machine..
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
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