I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
Randomize
