Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
Someday soon you'll wake up next to a bottle of jameson and a half eaten lean cuisine and then you'll be just like me.
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
Your topless pictures make me question reality
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
I woke up this morning with a half eaten bagel and an empty pack of imitation crab meat in my bed. This is going to be my response to pick up lines now.
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
My Easter Basket from my parents consisted of one chocolate bunny and a massive amount of condoms and a single note saying "the pope approves of the use of condoms" love mom and dad
Randomize
