Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
I just gargled with NyQuil
Found a pic on my phone from last night. You're drunk. Arm wrestling some guy. In the bar bathroom. At a baby changing station. It's my new wallpaper.
Happy hour crawl turned into power happy hour turned into tequila shots turned into I'm drunk in class on Cinco de Mayo at 7 am.
Had a rough day but my boyfriend made that all better by going down on me while letting me watch Top Gear... I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
Randomize