Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
my little brother just told me that I should start chasing my vodka with slim fast. genious.
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
Turned out the thing on the lampshade was a bloodstain, not a bedbug. We feel much safer now.
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
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