Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
Call me when you get up. This hang-over is like dismantling a bomb: I need someone to talk me through it.
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
I think I'm leaving the streamers and balloons up from 4th of july till after he stops by. It'll be like the universe is celebrating his massive dick.
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
Randomize
