I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
Randomize
