you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
I don't want my vagina anymore.
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
Kid walks in and orders 24 Mcdoubles and 14 large fries, as he's handing me the money he tells me he lost at rock paper scissors so he had to do the munchie run.
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
Randomize
