I'm laying in your front yard are you home
there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
I take back all the times I've said life was unfair. I'm about to have two trained bartenders for a girlfriend and roommate
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
Randomize
