I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
And as drunk as I was I was able to show my mom how to make text italicized in Microsoft word
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
Found a pic on my phone from last night. You're drunk. Arm wrestling some guy. In the bar bathroom. At a baby changing station. It's my new wallpaper.
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
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