I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower?
head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
Getting a lap dance from a girl you went to high school with really isn't as awkward as you'd think
And she called me out by name, nothing could have made it more awkward but it ended up not being that bad
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
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