what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
I think my mom's writing a book called how to fuck with your kids when you know they're high
stop changing my ringtone to people fucking, it looks bad at work
I'm doing shots of crown out of a baby bottle. My friends are sensational parents.
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
I feel like my lungs want to punch me in the vagina.
is that even a sentence?
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
Hey, I'm off work. Wanna take a metric fuckton of adderall, possibly get daydrunk, and get my hair cut?
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
Randomize
