Just mADE A PArabola og urine
Grow some girl-balls and come out already
I have way too many pictures of poop on my phone
I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
dude I just sharted for the first time ever, kind of gross
well what did you think, shitting your pants would be fun
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
Shit ive learned: when going out to a party, always wear a bathing suit underneath just in case theres a pool with a roof next to it
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
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