They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
she hid the dish soap because she was afraid someone would confuse it with the margaritas and drink it instead. her reasoning was "theyre both soo pink...i cant tell them apart"
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
And on that day, Satan said; "Let there be the friend zone and let us get fucking high." while Jesus silently cried in the background.
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
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