I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
At the ER. John needs stiches. Fuck pub trivia nights.
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
Randomize
