she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
I just saw a man vacuming his front lawn. What is this world coming to?
i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
I'm on tinder and every time somebody says something too creepy for me I start quoting scripture at them. My boobs are like missionaries.
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
Randomize
