Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
Officially conquered sex on my couch with my dad asleep in the next room
I like how you say "conquered" as if that was your sole mission in life
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
You put on some guys Birkenstocks that were abandoned on the dance floor overtop of your flats. Then ran out of the bar high gives the bouncer and said "look at my new kicks" then he was like woah wait a minute someone is missing those and made you return them. You were very upset
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
Randomize
