Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
The cops found weed in michael jacksons house today...it makes up for the child molesting, I like him more now.
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
I arrived home at 7am wearing nothing but my underwear and a fedora. I ate half a dozen deviled eggs. Put Katy Perry on repeat. And cried myself to sleep. We cannot go out on Thursday anymore
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
Randomize