I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
I really wish i had a penis so i could dick slap that bitch right now
There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
btw, i had a dream i drank 260-proof vodka last night. thank god that doesn't exist in real life.
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
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