Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
An outback commercial just played and I remembered that guy from Australia Imade out with at the Derby. Great Bachelorette Party, btw.
This is what my life has come to. Like, I may or may not have just stolen pizza from the guy I just hooked up with's fridge when I left...
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
Dude.. She just busted into my house wearing a ski mask, a poncho, and thigh-high pink hooker boots and yelled, "THE CABS ARE HEEERRREEE!!"
Randomize
