I have two black x marks on my hands.
Yep you got cut off last night after a stripper bent over in front of you and you screamed very loudly 'I can see your soul from here'
damnit I wish I could remember that.
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
Randomize
