I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
You can fuck right off with that, "If the earthquake isnt bigger than 5.0, we native Californians dont get out of bed." I am from Chicago. I can handle freak flash floods, polar vortexes and tornados. But my bed violently shaking at 6:30 in the morning is cause for some understandable concern.
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
I'm running late...how do you explain period shits to your boss?
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
So she was on top of my phone and somehow called my roommate while I banged her. I picked up and he congratulated me. I was with his sister. I will take this to my grave.
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
Randomize
