She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
I can't tell whether I'm throwing up blood or licorice.
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
Man, I thought my dick was gonna fall off.
Dude, I didn't even think they made slap bracelets anymore. You okay?
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
I'm too high and old for this...
Yeah, sorry about that. Dropped the phone on my face while I was watching porn.
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
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