He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
Katie Perry lied, you can't just wake up and shake the glitter off your clothes.
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
this morning your mother said to me "sorry to have to meet you like this, in my sons bed" later she said "you never know whos gonna be in there. its scary sometimes"
Dental hygienist just pulled two flakes of glitter out. And asked me how i've been doing with the divorce.
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
Randomize